When I was growing up, the adults in my life were always stressing the virtues of moderation. I got it...sort of. And so somewhere in the recesses of my soul I have always thought there was something wrong with me because it seems like I have always had a hard time being 'moderate'. We moved a lot when I was young and some of my family used to say to me that I would have an easier time making friends if I dressed 'normal'. My whole soul screamed against looking mainstream and still does.In the end, expressing myself led to my tribe, many of which I am still friends with today.
I took a desk job once in my 20's and became so depressed and physically ill that it led to a whole series of dramatic changes in my life. It was harsh realization that I really couldn't 'make myself' be something that I am not. At the time I felt that was a weakness. Some of us are so sensitive that we cannot live in a way that our society considers 'moderate'. Some of us can't stay in the grey; we are either in or out. This makes us what my aunt calls 'fringe dwellers'. We are the artists, psychics, activists, radicals, entrepreneurs, monks, nomads, 100% single parents and anyone else who can't or won't fit in to this pre-existing system. A lot of us have had to become comfortable living very close to the edge because what we do never seems to bring in enough money to live securely, yet is important, undervalued work. I am having more and more clients come to me saying they want to move into the metaphysical/healing world. This can be a really difficult choice for some people because they are so afraid of how their friends, family, employers, or greater society, will treat them. One of my clients actually had to leave her town to pursue a path of medium-ship. She didn't want her family to be ostracized because of her choice. I had a really big personal revelation the other day while I was reading the book 'The Artist's Way' (for the third time!). One of the assignments was to write down 20 alternative lives you could live. Some of these possible 'dream lives' were to be: a belly dancer, a psychic, the lead singer in a band and a photographer. I started laughing so hard because I've done all these things and so much more. And then I thought that I've got to own it...I'm no moderate and who gives a shit. I am glad.
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AuthorHello! I am Xtina, an intuitive tarot reader based in the Pacific Northwest. 'Tarot Communique' is a space for my musings, inspirations and whatever else that comes up that I'd like to share! xo Top Blog Posts
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